Boundaries

What the hell are those?

I ask myself that when I am scrolling through social media, reading my “friends” posts.

We all have different personal boundaries. Some of us are more comfortable letting people in than others. I have very tight professional boundaries and my personal boundaries, well it depends who you are?

There are so many situations so this blog will address personal boundaries with true friends.

We will talk about social boundaries and professional boundaries in additional blogs. I could write an entire book but I don’t have time, the money, and nobody would read it.

So the assumption with this advice is that these are people that you trust, that care about you, and that you feel comfortable with.

There is no rule that says that just because these people care about you, that they need to know everything. One of the most poignant things I ever heard someone say is that people who disclose everything feel unsafe, and disclosing some things makes you unsafe. Sad but true.

Your loved ones do NOT need to know every fault, mistake or sin you have! If you want to share that is ok but realize that the response you get may not be what you want to hear.

These secrets, faults and sins may be better told to a professional with professional boundaries and skills at helping you work through them. Sometimes the people we love hurt us.

When we are in a committed relationship with our partners that does not mean they need to know everything. You can have a healthy relationship without including your past. It might hurt them and it might hurt you. Leave it there.

Parents….Your children do not need to hear what you did when you were young, how your sex life is, or when you lost your virginity…Yes I do need to say this. Hypothetical conversations are ok, the dirty deets, NOPE!!

Lastly I think it is fair to say that most secrets are not kept. If you don’t want people to know, don’t tell it!!