I feel like most of my blogs have been heavy or thought provoking. Nothing wrong with that but it really isn’t what I am all about. I am a gregarious, funny, light hearted, smart ass. It is harder to get humor across in writing, or at least it is for me. You can’t see my raised brows, the furrow between my eyes, the sarcasm in my voice and of course if the story is really funny you have to stand up to tell it. I am going to give it a whirl here and tell my covid brain story.
First you have to understand my relationship with Dan, my husband. We have been married for almost 32 years. In that 32 years has come a lot of patience and we have no qualms about calling each other out on something. People who don’t know us very well may think our marriage is in trouble. No way. Solid as a rock! Just flowery.
One day last week our Pomeranian had an appointment at the vet. This is done curbside, the staff comes out to your car, hands you the paperwork, then takes the dog in. You wait and then they bring him back. You pay your bill over the phone. Pretty efficient truthfully. Both Dan and I went, as in the world of covid this could potentially be considered a date. Especially since we decided to pick up our favorite Mexican food on the way home. Dan is becoming “hungry Dan” as we wait for Punkin, our dog, to come out. There’s a funny story about the name Hungry Dan but I will leave that for another blog. Hungry Dan is not very patient and he becomes more and more surly by the minute. It is a true Jekyl and Hyde.
As I sit with Hungry Dan and wait on Punkin I realize I need gas. I am notorious for procrastinating getting gas. I don’t know why, during this season it is because I never drive my car. I never go anywhere. I haven’t put gas in my car in 6 weeks.
They hand me Punkin and I tell Dan, “we need to stop for gas before we pick up the food” Dan snarls and gripes about my chronic low gas situation, we argue about where we are getting gas and he tells me “I’m starving just go to Walmart it’s on the way”
In route my driving is a little wacky and while making a left hand turn I almost cut someone off, Dan says, “do you want me to drive? You’re kind of scaring me” I laugh and tell him ” I haven’t driven in awhile I guess I need to get out more.” I have to admit the grouchier Dan gets the funnier I think it is. So I am poking a little bit. I pull up to the pump and think to myself, “wow, what a pretty green, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a green pump before?” Dan being the chivalrous man he is, gets out to pump the gas. Punkin and I stay in the car. I can hear him trying to put the hose in the car and he is making a terrible racket. I roll down the window and say “what the hell are you doing? You sound like you’re trying to tear my car apart” “It’s diesel Lisa, did you not notice the green pump?” I start laughing and can’t stop. “you were the one trying to make the hose fit!” I say. “Back the car up to this pump” hungry Dan snarls. I am laughing loudly and can’t stop. He gets in while the gas pumps. He is griping about me pulling up to the wrong pump and I am laughing because he tried to make the hose fit. A typical juxtaposition on our communication and relationship.
“I guess I have covid brain. I have limited mental stimulation during the day, I am forgetting how to perform simple tasks and I have forgotten that green means diesel.” He starts to laugh, and then says “let’s hurry I’m starving.”
We drive to get our food and my driving skills are improved on the last leg of the trip. We have giggled about that outing several times over the last few days. When I tell the story it just isn’t as funny as if you were there. I encourage you to imagine hungry Dan wrestling with the gas pump as his loud obnoxious wife laughs and yells to him out the window. Hear the snarl and hunger in his voice.
Take care of your brain during this time. Play candy crush, do a puzzle or read trivial pursuit cards. Please don’t take each other too seriously. That is the one thing that I think has kept Dan and I together. We can see our weaknesses and realize that that is what makes us who we are. We love that part of ourselves and each other as much as all the other qualities. Lastly remember that green means diesel!!
Unapologetically Pretty 
This scenario could be John and I. I am totally preoccupied with EVERYTHING…I did a 7 hour exam on an incontinent patient (feces)…..I am so tired after exams and that one was especially difficult for many reasons. I get home and John tries to be nice and start dinner but he puts potatoes in to roast way ahead of putting the chicken in to bake….I teased him about his organizational skills and we laugh. I do know your realtionship with Dan and could so see the whole thing. I’ll be glad when this covid crap is over.
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I loved it and did laugh, three times! You two are a gas!!! Pun intended!!
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