If you know toddlers, then you know meltdowns. I have two grandsons and the oldest is the master at the meltdown. They are normal, but they can really test your self-control. They have gotten better over the last year but it happened again recently.
It was 5:30 pm on a Thursday. The week is winding down and I am tired. We have nothing to eat and a trip to Sam’s club is a must. I am scheduled to pick up the four year old. I know that the stars are not lining up well for this. Both of us are tired, hungry and well….he’s four!!!
I pick him up and runs to me, screaming “grannnnnndmaaaa” He hugs my leg and I am filled with joy…. I am so glad to see him. “We need to go to Sam’s Ok?” I say as we are getting his backpack.
“Yay, can I look at the toys?”
“We can look but there probably isn’t anything small, you will probably not get anything today, ok?”
Mistake number one. I should have been more concrete. “Sam’s will not have anything and we aren’t getting anything” but that sounds so harsh
His response is “but we can look right?”
I am buckling him into his car seat. Why is it that those straps are never the same length as when you unbuckled them, and they are always all twisted up. I swear there is a car seat gremlin that screws with those things.
“we can look but we are probably not getting anything” (probably damn it…WE AREN’T GETTING ANY TOYS!!!)
As I am buckling him in, his little hand reaches up to my cheek and he gently caresses it, then he starts to squeeze my cheek and the grip become more and more firm, I look into his eyes and I see a twinkle of anger in there.
“are you trying to hurt grandma?”
“no, why is your face so squishy?”
“Because I am old. No meltdowns at the store ok?”
“Ok” he says with a defeated voice.
We get to Sam’s and get the cart, “Can we look at the toys?”
“We are getting the food first then we will walk down that isle before we check out, OK? ”
“OK”
We get our food and head towards the toy isle. I know there won’t be anything we can take home. There are huge blow up toys for the pool, large yard items and books….This is gonna get ugly. We start our walk and I can see the panic come over his face, no small toys, nothing, nothing that grandma is going to buy!
“you can have a book.”
“I don’t want a book”
“ok”
We walk the full length of the aisle…nothing, he is in full panic mode…He isn’t crying yet but it’s coming…I can’t help myself and I start to giggle. It is what I do. I know it isn’t going to help the situation but I can’t help it.
“Ok let’s go check out.” I say
“NOOOOOO grandma, can we look one more time?”
“Ok, one more time but then we are leaving. Everyone is waiting on us at home.”
Down the isle we go again….Nothing, his little face is so sad, there is nothing to buy, nothing, NOTHINGGGGG!!!
“Ok, it’s time to go” I say. We head toward the register and here it comes. He has a death grip on the cart, feet dug in, he is in total melt down mode.
“NOOOOOO Grandma I want a toy, I want to look”
The lady scans my groceries, he is still screaming and jumping up and down, I occasionally lean down and say very softly, “please stop, please be quiet”
“no grandma, please grandma, waaa waaa ”
I tell you what, these moments are hard. I feel bad for him. I feel bad for me, but I know this is normal. People are staring and that’s ok. It is normal. He is sad, he is tired and he is hungry. Grandma should not have done this.
We head toward the door and he is hanging onto the cart feet dug in. I am literally pulling him along, he hasn’t taken a step. He is sliding with his head flung back, “noooooo grandma”
I hand the lady my receipt and say “he’s not on there but we could probably make a deal” We get outside and I stop the cart
“Tell grandma what you want.”
“I want to got Walmart.”
“we are going to go home and eat, take a bath and talk about it, but we probably aren’t going to Walmart today.”
“Ok” he says and just like that it is over
We made it, It’s over, nobody got hurt, and nobody died. I feel bad for little guys when this happens. They have so little control over things, they have very few real choices. They are just learning how to control their emotions, add being tired and hungry on top of it and it’s a recipe for disaster.
The next time you see a meltdown, remember they are normal. The child isn’t bad, mom isn’t a bad parent. It’s a bad situation that may not have been avoidable. Give an affirmative head nod, a positive wink, or say “It’s ok, it’s normal”. Because it is and this too shall pass, until the next trip!!
Unapologetically Pretty 