Self Disclosure

We currently live in a world with blurred boundaries, where social media is where we have our conversations. We have thousands of “friends” but very few intimate relationships.

We hear about everyone’s trauma, past history, abusive partners and relationships.

In my work with families and patients I have learned that self-disclosure is rarely helpful and almost always discouraged. When you do it, it must be done carefully.

Therapeutic relationships are most beneficial when the professional has very firm boundaries. Firm boundaries provide safety for people. Your therapist probably isn’t telling you about their past, if they are, get another therapist.

Facebook, IG etc are not locations of professional relationships. That doesn’t mean we don’t have to have some rules about self disclosure.

Why do we choose to use these platforms to self disclose? Good question to ask yourself. Unfortunately people will disclose something personal about themselves and then regret it. The responses are not what they hoped for or leave them feeling vulnerable.

So in a world with blurred boundaries here are a few tips regarding self disclosure;

Leave out the details. Being vague is ok. We all have things that have happened to us that hurt and others can relate to that feeling without knowing EXACTLY what happened.

If what you are wanting is warm, positive, nurturing responses…disclose in PRIVATE.

Remember that what you disclose could trigger someone else. Be responsible and consider how this could affect others.

Don’t give advice based on your circumstances. Leave that to the professionals.

Maybe considering typing it out and then instead of posting it or sending it just let it rest. Come back in a few days, read it and decide if it is really what you want the world to see.

If you have something you need to talk about, consider a few therapy sessions. It can do wonders to have a neutral person hear your story.

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