Sometimes I blog just to journal my feelings. I never admit to having all of the answers. Maybe by putting my thoughts down I will bring some clarity to the issue or cause someone else to have an aha moment.
A theme I see with many of my home visits, mirror the things I see with professional care providers and women. Ironically most professionals in my line of work ARE women and we tend to be the primary care provider throughout our entire life span.
When it is what you do, when do you decide it is more than you can handle, or it is time to pass the baton?
When does a loving wife have the right to walk away from her abusive partner who has completely transformed due to dementia?
When does a mother get to walk away from her mentally ill adult child, who refuses to take care of himself or his medication?
When is it Ok to take time for yourself?
When do you not see yourself anymore but only see the care provider? What can be done about this?
What is left for you when your partner of 50 years passes away and you are alone. You no longer have friends or hobbies. What could you have done differently?
The love/ life balance is a tricky one.
I think the balance starts early in the relationship. We need to nourish self-efficacy. Make our own needs known. There is as much joy in receiving as giving. Make sure that you are doing and getting both.
Foster self-esteem instead of dependence.
Love unconditionally but give yourself permission to set limits.
Have tough conversations now, so that the decisions later are less difficult.
Ask for advice.
Know that it is ok to step back.
Have a confidant
Be kind to yourself
Unapologetically Pretty 