The flying baby

I am on my way home from a business trip and we have stopped to re-load in Phoenix.  I have chosen to  stay in my current seat, near the back of the plane in a window seat.  How full can it be?  Who wants to go to Oklahoma city?

The people start to file in…hmm it is looking pretty full.

Then I see them.  The little people.  More and more of them.  Varying ages but many under the age of two.  By the time we are ready for take off there are 12 children in the surrounding seats and five are under the age of two.

Seated next to me is a Hispanic woman, grandma to the child across the aisle.  Seated next to her on the aisle seat is a middle-aged woman and her 14 month old.  I wonder what the story is.  She looks more like grandma.  Not that it matters, I just find interest in the story and there are so many grandma’s raising grandchildren.

She asks if I mind if she sits there and is apologetic.

“She’s just learned to scream and she does it all the time.”

She looks stressed and we haven’t even taken off.

“That’s normal and it won’t bother me a bit.”

She’s a sweet little baby with big blue eyes.  She is tiny and has that head shape that tells me she was probably premature.  This is  irrelevant but it is my nurse brain.  She is smitten with me and reaches out, offers me her mimi, and squeals with delight when I talk to her.

She is not happy with the confinement of the plane seat and grandma’s lap.

The cabin lights are dimmed and we take off.  The baby behind us starts to cry and the little guy in front of me is melting down too.  The couple across the aisle and one row forward smile with empathy.  Their little guy is three or four and doing great.  I am sure they have been where these other parents are.

The little gem in my aisle is a trooper and reads the safety cards from the seat pocket.  I try to avoid eye contact with her, this seems to increase her excitement and the decibel of her vocalizations.  She is a master at the shrill scream and I catch myself laughing out loud at her.  Poor grandma is beside herself and looks pretty overwhelmed and stressed.  For the majority of the flight the rest of the wee ones are great.  No screaming, crying or meltdowns.

As the flight approaches its end the gem in my aisle is done.  She is not crying but the squealing has risen to a new level.  She is throwing her head back and I know the meltdown is close.  Grandma is nervous and worried about everyone else on the plane.  She attempts the pacifier, a bottle with water in it, and shushing.  It is not working.

Before I can stop myself I hold my arms out to the little gem and she reciprocates.  “I can take her if you are OK with it?”

“She’s pretty crabby”  grandma says.

“Let’s try it”  I say

Grandma passes her over, I set her in my lap and we look out the window.  She pats the window and oos and aahs over the lights,  she love the coldness of the window pane, and is mesmerized by my bracelets and bright orange finger nails.  She looks up at me and then back at grandma.

“She’s still there.”  I tell her.  Baby’s who reference mom are secure.  She knows grandma is the safe person but is also trusting enough to venture out a little.

Little gem, settles in and I slide the mimi in her mouth.  She puts her head on my chest and continues to fiddle with the bracelets.  Her eyelids are heavy and I can feel her body relax.  She never falls asleep but she is definitely comfortable and calm.

The time passes quickly and we land.  She doesn’t move a muscle.  The forward momentum is intense and she is completely unphased.  The cabin lights come up and she is re-energized.   I hand her back to grandma.

“Thank you so much for taking her.   That was very kind of you.  I really appreciate it and I know everyone on the plane appreciates it too.”

“You are very welcome.  I love babies and love that I could help.  Traveling is hard on big people so you know it has to be hard on little ones.”

What I wanted to say is “I didn’t do it for the other people on the plane.  They can get over it.  I did it for her and for you.”

I know that screaming babies are annoying.  That sound can unravel anyone.  Let’s remember that it is a sound of distress and that should be our focus.  Little people don’t understand that they can’t walk the aisle, throw their mimi across the seat and touch the person next to them.  They don’t understand that their parent is worried about how you will react, how they are going to juggle a diaper bag, stroller and make their next connection.

My challenge to you is, the next time you travel offer a helping hand, a friendly smile, or whatever you can do to make the trip better for that little gem in the seat next to you that has mastered the squeal and scream.